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Texting After the First Date: Handy Guide | Brides4Love

The first date, which both sides were so eagerly awaiting, has taken place. You are experiencing a lot of emotions, developing your early impressions, remembering, rethinking, and analyzing everything that happened. Now you need to decide what to do next. Whether the farewell was vigorous, reverential, and ended with kisses, or passed with restraint and no special tenderness — the girl still expects some steps and attention from the man afterward. She begins to wait already from the moment she crossed the threshold of her apartment after returning from the date: a call, messages on a social network, poems, compliments, and, of course, an invitation to a second date.

What to text a girl after the first date?

With a sinking heart, she looks at the phone over and over again, waiting for the coveted texting after the date. Girls tend to get worked up and make far-reaching conclusions based on little things: “Since he has not called or texted me yet, he does not like me at all. I am ugly and fat.” Therefore, you should not torment the lady by waiting too long before texting after the first date, but still, you need to wait a little bit.

texting after first date

After seeing the girl off and getting home, you should send her a message to thank her again for the evening you spent together. This is normal communication after the first date. You shouldn’t ask her on another date right away — the girl also needs time to analyze her impressions and sort out her feelings and emotions.

What to text a girl after the first date?

The message should be calm and unobtrusive but warm and sincere. Most likely, the girl will not answer right away, but she will not make you wait for several days. So, the normal response time is about half a day after receiving your message.

Texting right after the date will show that you are quite interested in continuing (so quickly) but by not immediately asking her on a second date, you will show that you are also in control of your impulses and are not “salivating” (calm message style). And, of course, if she does not respond right away, you should not bombard the girl with messages, asking why she has not answered yet. Instead, simply wait for her message. If you have not received an answer yet, it makes sense to repeat your message in at least half a day or a day, like: “I wrote to you but you haven’t responded. Did you receive my message?”

Here are some examples of a good first message after the date:

  • The first thing I remembered when I woke up was your kiss yesterday. I am definitely having a good day today!
  • I remember how you blushed yesterday when we met. You are so beautiful when you are embarrassed.
  • Yesterday, by the way, everyone was jealous of me — I was with the most beautiful girl in this city!
  • When I close my eyes, I remember you yesterday — how beautiful you were! Maybe we can meet up again sometime so that I don’t have to sit with my eyes closed all the time?
  • Ice cream? Chocolate? Honey? Strawberries? No! Your kiss was the sweetest thing in the world! And so you know, I have a sweet tooth!

When choosing a compliment for the girl, the best option is to refer to some moments from the meeting, like topics of conversation or comical phrases that arose during the first date. This will bring the girl back to her memories of the date and help her relive those pleasant or funny moments.

So, when to text after a date?

If you do not know exactly when a girl expects a message from you, and you did not ask her about it, then all you can do is rely on your own norms. Male norms are based on two main principles:

  1. Don’t lose your cool. That is, it is believed that a man is expected not to rush immediately for a skirt but instead hold off for a little while. Otherwise, his value in the eyes of a lady when Slavic women dating falls. In general, this is true. However, remember that this is dependent on the specific woman. If the woman you are dating is not too worried about these kinds of rules, then you can write to her whenever you want (in the sense, of course, not at 3 in the morning), and it will not affect your dignity.
  2. Don’t be too intrusive so as not to scare the girl. If you start texting a girl too much right after you have said goodbye, and then again the next morning, afternoon, and evening, a lady may get scared of the pressure and disappear altogether. This is because an overly compulsive partner can be prone to troubled relationships, and this can be dangerous in the future.

When to call after a first date

If you are wondering when to call after a first date, there may be several “decent” options, but they all depend on what exactly you put into them.

The first is calling after the first date right in the next morning, saying that everything was great. You can also try to plan the next date, for example, in a day, in two, or whatever day makes sense — for instance, on weekends so you can spend more time together, or, on Friday — the traditional night for these types of hangouts.

Second, you can show more self-control and demonstrate that you are interested in ladies online, but you are reasonable, and you want to take the leading role in the relationship. That is, you can call after a day or two. This is a normal length of time to wait, and your call will be eagerly awaited (if, of course, she is waiting at all). If you wait 3-4 days, then, most likely, the girl “overcomes” your silence and will be greatly annoyed because you have been silent for too long. Well, if you wait a whole week before calling, then, most likely, the girl will pretend that she does not recognize you.

By the way, call or text after the first date in 2021?

When making contact after the first date, much depends on what method of communication you are used to, and whether the girl is used to it. In other words, what is normal for her? It is best to ask in advance. In principle, you can both write and call. Older people are used to picking up the phone and calling in person, not typing a message. In the past, that was seen as more respectful. Nowadays, there is no such requirement because popular methods of communication have changed. Therefore, if both partners are more comfortable with texting, then, of course, that is better than calling. Many people feel a lot of pressure when communicating about such a delicate issue as starting a relationship, so writing is less stressful.

After first date etiquette in 2021

To begin with, you need to remember that this is the first meeting, so there is no need to rush to conclusions. It is better to approach this issue from different angles. After all, every coin has two sides. A date can be both incredible and frustrating. But you need to remember that you cannot judge a person by the first meeting because your conclusions will probably be wrong or biased.

after first date etiquette

1. The question of a second date is always off-putting

If you did not receive an offer or consent for a second date immediately, don’t despair. A lady also needs to get a handle on her emotions. You should take a short pause, but hint at something in the near future. For instance, you could phrase it like this: “It was fun spending time together. I would like to talk again. May I call you?” Even if you do not really want to call, you can simply disappear. No one owes anyone anything. This is just a face-to-face acquaintance. Similarly, you can easily refuse without fear of hurting the person. However, it is best to give the person a second chance.

2. Make proper surprises

If you communicate on social networks, then you should not bother to send gifts and emoticons. Sending virtual gifts is not only stupid but also very annoying. If you want to give her flowers, surprise her: Order the delivery of a bouquet of flowers to her home or workplace.

Also do not surprise her by arriving at her apartment on Saturday evening and writing: “I am outside your door. You have 10 minutes to get ready.” This goes against after first date etiquette. You will put her in an extremely difficult and awkward position, which will negatively affect her attitude toward you.


3. There may not be a spark on the first date

But that does not mean anything yet. Of course, if a person is especially uninteresting and does not attract you in any way, then there is no need to waste your time. It is not worth pretending that you are genuinely interested. Otherwise, this kind of one-man theater is unbearable for both parties. But, sometimes it seems like the date wasn’t exciting, even though there was something there. Then you can sacrifice one more evening, and it may not be in vain.

Rules for texting a girl

Sending a message later that evening or the morning after the first date to thank a girl for meeting you and say that you enjoyed the date is not only polite but also a way to find out if she is interested in further communication. If a girl surprises you by writing first, do not panic — answer her. There are some conventional rules for texting a girl. Regardless of what you decide to send, be polite and tactful.


rules for texting a girl

1. Ask a provocative question

Provocative means encouraging something, in your case, starting a conversation and stirring up interest. Write, for instance:

  • What do you like to do when no one can see you?
  • If you could choose any talent in the world, what would it be?
  • What would you do if tomorrow was your last day on Earth?
  • How would your best friends describe you?

It is hardly worth writing to a girl about sexual topics after the first date. A man who immediately talks about physical intimacy runs the risk of offending her and putting himself in an unfavorable light.

2. Recall a moment from your date

Make it clear to the girl that you had fun with her; think about a carefree moment during the date. Perhaps you were talking about your shared love for animals. Write, for instance: “Let’s go to the zoo! Against the background of birds, I will not seem so noisy!”

Do not write about embarrassing moments (like how she spilled a drink on you or squealed funnily while you were on a roller coaster), as this may backfire.

3. Recall the topic of your dating conversation

Mention something that she said during the date — this will show that you listened carefully to her. If the girl told her she is interested in photography, you could say that you want to see some of her best shots, or jokingly ask when she is going to take your portrait. If your companion recommended that you watch a particular movie or read a certain book, take the time to read or watch it and let her know what you think.

Signs she is not interested after the first date

If on the first date, the atmosphere seemed a little tense, then perhaps the couple did not find a common language and the date failed. So, how can you determine if your acquaintance has failed and the lady is just not interested in you?

contact after first date

She is not nervous at all

The first date is always exciting. If a lady does not express any embarrassment or give off the slightest hint of excitement or shyness, this likely means indifference. She does not feel any emotions because she has no plans to meet again, and there is no need for her to try to impress you or be afraid of doing something wrong.

Absence of physical contact

If a girl really likes you, she will try in every possible way to touch you imperceptibly or to lean in your direction. If there is no light physical contact and the distance between you was not reduced by a centimeter, it’s probably a failure.

She talks about her ex too much

If she keeps bringing up her ex, it seems that this woman has confused you with a psychologist. You definitely should not continue in a relationship with someone who cannot let go of their past. Perhaps she went on a date just to forget her ex. But it is clear that nothing good will come of this.

Several Additional Tips

We all know that texting a girl after the first date is scary. You may wait for hours or even days, not writing anything to a girl. However, it is always better to find out everything right away in order to understand what to do next and how to behave. Being nervous has never benefited anyone.
Of course, it is easy to say that you should be self-confident and not be afraid of texting after the first date. But being nervous is completely understandable, and even the most confident people can experience it from time to time. Just don’t give up; do your best!

Final say

Remember the main thing — these rules and norms are not set in stone. If you think any of these things don’t apply to your situation, then you may be right. And if your lady thinks the same way, then you are on the same wavelength. But, if she adheres to any set of rules, then you need to understand and observe them if you want a positive result.

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