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In modern society, premarital relationships are considered commonplace. Besides, this is the most common way to find a soul mate today. And in Islam, as you know, the desire to start a family is encouraged. Despite the many advantages, dating Muslim women to a nikah (Islamic marriage) bears certain risks. Unfortunately, such relationships often lead to the commission of grave sins. To avoid them when single Muslim dating, you must meet some requirements.
Have good intentions when dating a Muslim girl
A man should not date Muslim girls or women solely to have sex or accomplish any selfish goals as easy-riders do. Your only intention when dating a Muslim woman should be to become familiar with the possibility of entering into a nikah in the future. Prophet Muhammad said: “For two people in love there is nothing more decent than marriage” (Ibn Majah, Hakim).
Choosing a life partner
You should pay particular attention to your choice of partner when Muslim online dating. Your and your children’s entire future and largely depends on this. Whether you will be happy in marriage depends on your spouse and whether you are a good match for each other. You should follow several rules here:
- Faith — it is advisable to choose someone of the same faith to avoid any disagreements that may arise in a mixed marriage. However, Muslims are still allowed to marry Christians or Jews.
- Piety — i.e., the degree of the devotion of the partner should be taken into account. Obviously, this is difficult to know for sure, since a person’s soul is hidden from us. But you can draw some conclusions from a single Muslim woman’s behavior.
- The absence of bad habits — dependence on alcoholic, narcotic, or psychotropic substances, and cravings for smoking, gambling, and other vices, of course, will negatively affect your health and your potential Muslim spouse will likely disapprove. This will be a constant source of problems in the family.
- Chastity — it is desirable for Muslims that their future life partner is a virgin.
Dating Muslim women: Peculiarities of acquaintance
After choosing a future spouse, you should get to know them. These days, this often happens on social media, which has replaced real-life chatting. When communicating on social networks, Muslims should adhere to good behavior, respect for their conversation partner, modesty, and refusal of the forbidden.
Date
After acquaintance, the crucial and most exciting stage begins — a date, on which further relationships largely depend. When dating a Muslim girl, according to Sharia, remember the following rules:
1. Do not be alone together
In one of the hadiths, it is said: “If someone retires with single Muslim women, then the Shaitan will certainly be the third among them” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah). The meaning of these words is that when a man and a woman are alone, the Shaitan (spirits, or the devil) will induce them to sin. Typically, fornication is committed by people in solitary situations. Therefore, so that there is no temptation, such situations should be avoided.
The best option, in this case, would be the presence of a third party — for example, a mutual acquaintance or friend. Their presence successfully solves the problem of privacy but also deprives the date of its intimate essence. After all, a guy and a girl on a date typically discuss, in addition to general topics, some personal issues to explore and learn about each other. It may be more difficult to do this with another person there.
Therefore, you may prefer to simply choose a crowded public place as the setting for your date. For example, cafés, restaurants, parks, squares, and movie theaters are good options. In this case, young people do not have the opportunity to retire, and, at the same time, there is no “third wheel.”
2. Do not touch each other
Whether it be hugging, kissing on the cheek, or even hrequesting hands — it is worth remembering that any touch of strangers by Muslim women or men is prohibited in Islam. The Messenger of the Most High said: “It will be better for a believer if a needle is stuck in his head than touching a single Muslim woman.”
3. Maintain a decent appearance
Muslims should cover the awrah (intimate parts of the body) not only on dates but also in everyday life. Islam teaches that exposure of prohibited body parts can lead to temptation and seduction, which can result in zina. In this case, zina can mean not only sexual intimacy but also sexual fantasies, which are also forbidden since they are considered fornication of the eyes.
4. Communicate properly with the opposite sex
During a date with a Muslim woman, you should not talk about depravity. You can communicate on any topic that does not contradict Islamic values. It is also necessary to observe the proper manner of communication, such as respect for Muslim women for dating, the absence of rudeness, and others.
If the parents found the future spouse for Muslim women
Many Muslim groups have a tradition of parents finding a future soulmate for their children. Alas, the choice is not always to the liking of the couple themselves. If your Muslim date’s parents do not approve of you as a partner for their daughter, then tread carefully. Family is typically very important for Muslims, so it could be important to win over her parents’ approval.
However, without the consent of their child, parents, according to Sharia, have no right to force them to marry someone. This is confirmed by the hadith: “If someone intends to marry his daughter, let him ask her consent” (Tabarani). But it is also not worth completely ignoring the opinions of their elders because they are usually important to Muslim women since they know their parents wish them only the best.
Islamic etiquette in intimate relationships
Muslim etiquette prescribes certain rules of intimacy. They have been known since the time of the Prophet Muhammad. These established norms allow believers to maintain their health, get satisfaction, and, at the same time, observe the etiquette of intimate relationships.
During intimacy, one should beware of the forbidden and do only what is allowed because closeness for followers of Islam has three main goals:
- Having children;
- Getting rid of semen (which is good for health);
- Satisfying physical needs.
According to Islamic etiquette, engaging in intimacy should be for the sake of Allah and to protect yourself and your wife from forbidden actions. Only when the act is performed according to the rules, the believer will receive a reward from the Almighty.
Make sure your bed is clean before getting intimate. The room should have access to fresh air, preferably with the smell of musk or saffron. It is considered Sunnah (traditional, customary) if the spouses also smear their bodies with incense and are in a good mood.
It is recommended to avoid intimacy for several days beforehand to make the semen more active and get more pleasure. However, you do not need to abstain for too long, as this is fraught with the risk of deterioration in well-being.
Muslim etiquette considers disclosing details of intimacy an unworthy act. Muslims should not tell other people about the number of times they have intercourse or reveal other secrets of their relationship with their spouse.
Muslim etiquette prohibits intimacy if the spouses are in an angry, sad, or grieving state. Intimacy is taboo if at least one of the spouses is under the influence of alcohol. If you want to follow the Sunnah, then do not start intimacy immediately after eating; wait until it is digested. This will give you more pleasure and put less stress on your body.
Also, Islamic etiquette bans intimacy on certain days of the month. So, you should avoid intimate relationships with your wife on the 1st, 15th, and last night of every month.
Intimacy should not take place in front of anyone. Spouses should retire to a secluded place so that there are no children, animals, or the Koran (unless it is wrapped in something) nearby. It is also not permitted to have sex during the day when there is a fast, or in a state of spiritual purity during a hegira (an exodus or migration).
It is strictly forbidden to tell strangers the details of your personal life. Believers must be humble and shy. Otherwise, their faith will be questioned. You cannot have intimacy with anyone other than your spouse. This is considered fornication. This prohibition also applies to the act of a husband at the same time with multiple wives.
In Islam, the intimate life of spouses plays an important role. Husband and wife should strive to meet each other’s needs but not go to extremes. True believers need to remember moderation, which also applies to the intimate sphere.
Follow the rules prescribed by the Almighty and remember that physical pleasure received from forbidden actions will harm your body and soul.
