We are all born free, or at least with the right to be free. Throughout life, many try to violate this our right. It all starts with parents who cannot let us go. This may happen even when we come of age. They try to control every aspect of our lives and think that they are protecting us from potential disasters. They do the same with each other, trying to show who is the boss and creating a small kingdom, where there must be a head and subjects.
When we grow up and start dating ladies online, these scenarios are repeated since we have no other example. In such a relationship, the man or woman believes that they should belong to each other and consider their partner as property. Hence, the inherent desire to control the life of another person arises. However, the only thing you can control is your life, and you are responsible for it.
Giving your girlfriend space properly
Jealousy is a very destructive feeling in a relationship. It humiliates both partners: the one who is jealous and the one who suffers because of it. At the same time, we all need to understand that the need for freedom and so-called polygamy are different things, and you should not confuse them. We are talking about personal freedom and space, not licentiousness.
Try to figure out what your girlfriend wants: Does she enjoy drinking wine with friends on a Friday night and watching a movie, or flirting with all of your friends? In the first case, she is not doing anything wrong. In the second, ask yourself honestly — do you need such a girl? No one can figure this out but you — all relationships and people are unique, so generalized advice on giving space to your girlfriend will sound silly.
When to give your girlfriend space
Is it worth giving a girl space in a relationship? Typically, this question arises when a man and a woman spend too much time together. Or their relationship has gone on so long that they just want to get away from each other.
In some cases, your girlfriend may be afraid to say directly that she wants to break up, and she will try hard to disguise it by striving for personal space. Thus, she will gradually lead your relationship to collapse.
Talk to her openly and ask why your girlfriend wants space. Her reaction will help you understand what to do in this situation. And if there are problems between you, and her desire for space seems like a common excuse to break the connection with you, then you need to decide whether it makes sense to continue the relationship with her.
How to give a girl space without losing her: Useful tips in 2021
Of course, every relationship is unique, and if your girlfriend does not agree to make mutual concessions, then she is simply selfish. Personal freedom in a relationship was, is, and always will be necessary, and you must determine the degree of space given. Surely, your partner also has friends with whom she wants to spend time, and you can always negotiate about this.
Let’s consider how to give your girlfriend space so that both of you get joy from your relationship and do not feel uncomfortable:
Respect is the basis of relationships because romantic love, sooner or later, passes, and respect should always remain. Otherwise, each of you will bring only misfortune and disappointment to your partner. Respect for a partner’s right to personal freedom is imperative. If you don’t like that your partner has too much freedom, or you just don’t like your partner’s social circle, calmly talk to her about it. But you don’t need to throw tantrums and threaten a breakup. Surely, your partner may not be happy with you either, but she values your right to personal freedom.
When your girlfriend wants space, you should take into account that her interests are different from yours, and she also has the right to spend her free time how she pleases. In no case should you try to subordinate her interests to yours — you will only cause resistance and aggression from her. Besides, you also like to do things that your girlfriend does not find attractive, which means that while she is busy with her hobby, you can do yours. Nevertheless, if you are wondering how to give her space, the best option for maintaining a harmonious relationship would be to have one or two joint hobbies.
Stop constantly controlling your partner
Some people have a habit of calling their partner every 20 minutes and checking where she is and what she is doing. After a while, the partner will get tired of this, begin to feel suffocated, and consider this an infringement on her right to personal life. Predictably, conflicts will arise on this basis in the future.
A person may violate the personal freedom of a partner because he is not satisfied with his own life. If there is not enough variety in his life, sooner or later it becomes boring to a person, and he becomes irritable. Of course, your girlfriend will be the first object on which to “release” this irritation. But is she to blame for you driving yourself into this routine? Ask your chosen one to pay more attention to you, and break free from the tenacious clutches of “routine and everyday life” together:
- go to the theater,
- walk in the park,
- visit the forest and gather mushrooms,
- go anywhere — just break away from the routine.
But in gratitude for this, respect her right to personal space. This way, you will be giving her space without losing her.
How to give her space without ignoring her
To respect your partner’s freedom, just remember that you also have the right to personal space and to communicate with others outside of the relationship. And imagine what would happen if this freedom were taken away from you. Life should be varied; you cannot be confined exclusively within the framework of your relationship. Otherwise, you can simply get bogged down in everyday life. Moreover, if you don’t allow your partner to be free, you will be together all day. Surely, at the beginning of the relationship, it is very good to be close to your loved one, but over time, you can easily get bored with each other.
Here are some more ways to give your girlfriend space 2021 and be satisfied with your relationship.
Gradually remove the dependency
Giving your partner freedom in the relationship may not be as difficult as you think. Some couples simply become overly dependent on each other. There could be different little things that you can do yourself, or with a friend. Determine the areas of overdependence in your relationship and discuss them with your girlfriend. Promise each other that you will work together to avoid this dependence.
Respect your partner’s personal boundaries
Often, mistrust in a partner pushes a person to invade the partner’s personal territory. For instance, your significant other may exercise her right to spend time with friends on weekends, while you stay at home. Obsessive thoughts like “what if she is not with friends” or “she is probably cheating on me” begin to enter your head. These thoughts give rise to distrust and checking the contact list on her phone, on social networks, etc.
If your girlfriend is actually spending time with friends, and in reality, this betrayal is just a figment of your imagination, this will deeply offend her if she finds out about your mail and phone checks. Remember this phenomenon: The more jealous a person is of his partner, the more he pushes her to cheating.
Abstain from regular texting on social networks
If you want to give your partner more freedom in your relationship, refrain from texting her as often. Constant texting on social networks or messengers may seem romantic to you, but don’t overwhelm her. Your girlfriend may be busy at work or have an urgent business while you are trying to communicate with her. Or she may take this behavior as a sign that you are overly fixated on the relationship. She will see you as an obsessed man who wants to control her life constantly. So next time, when you want to get your iPhone and send her a nice message, control yourself.
What About Self-confidence?
It is possible that giving your partner more space might make you feel that you are not needed or not loved. Now you know how to give your girlfriend space without losing her, but what about you? You should understand that some people require more time alone than others, and that is totally normal. It doesn’t reflect on the quality of your relationship or the extent to which your partner loves you.
Pay attention to when to give your girlfriend space and try not to take it personally. Seek professional help if necessary. A therapist can teach you how to deal with this situation.
Humans are originally born free. Of course, at the beginning of our lives, we are dependent on our parents, but the more mature we become, the greater the degree of freedom inherent in us. Freedom and personal space mean that a person can act as they want, think as they want, and go where they decide. The beauty of freedom is that a person is not influenced by any external factors, which means that there is no feeling of discomfort. The same applies to relationships: In a healthy couple, there is no room for discomfort. Therefore, there is a lot of personal space.